What living with Anxiety is like and spreading awareness for Mental Health Week! I kept trying to put publishing this post off but then I decided people need to know about Mental Health issues! A little bit out of topic and very very personal from my usual posts. From pretty makeup and music concert reviews. But this is a very important topic to talk about and one that needs more awareness raising. If you have been a long term reader of my blog you will probably remember a post I did. All about the Mindfulness Colouring Book and I also talked about the mental illnesses I suffer from.

LIVING WITH ANXIETY AND WHAT IT’S ACTUALLY LIKE

One of the main ones I suffer from is Anxiety. It’s basically been caused from being bullied from primary school all through to my senior years in secondary school. By people who I thought were my friends who have basically stabbed me in the back. And lied to my face about being my friend. And then bullied me for my appearance, personal tastes and sometimes reasons that weren’t even true.

READ MORE: Being Bullied & How It’s Triggered My Anxiety

It has slowly broken me down and my self confidence and esteem is literally non existent. Which is affecting me in my near-adult life. I am turning 20 this month so I’m still considered a teen for a little while. It affects me in my job everyday when answering phones and confronting clients were I literally avoid the situations and sometimes when it’s a really bad day I lock myself in the toilet to calm myself down. Life shouldn’t be this hard for something so small. School is meant for learning – not being traumatised so much you don’t want to go there anymore.

It’s a very slow uphill battle, daily. 

There was a lot of horrible things that happened throughout my school life. Which I don’t want to get into as it’s very personal but so horrible. I literally felt like ending it several times. But I stayed strong and took each day as it comes. And I realised that they aren’t worth dwelling on and I’m much stronger (in a way) because of what had happened.

Dealing with Anxiety is a slow uphill battle. One day could be really good and the next could be so horrible that I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep. It can hit you out of nowhere from feelings you weren’t feeling at the time or feelings that you can’t simply explain. It can be hard to make friends because they won’t understand what’s going on or what it feels like.

Sometimes it’s hard to explain how you are feeling. So you simply just say ‘I’m okay’ to avoid the situation of going into the reason why you’re feeling like that. Or when you’re having trouble to explain. You are constantly doubting yourself in all aspects of your life; your job, your friends and family, your appearance – EVERYTHING! This is one of the reasons why I started taking part in #YearOfYou to help me better myself and find ways of being happier with what I have and not what I haven’t got.

#YearOfYou has helped me better myself and find ways of being happier. 

It is slowly helping me but Anxiety is a mental illness and it’s a very delicate area. It can’t disappear in a matter of seconds – it will be with you for life but you can learn to control it. There are many symptoms of Anxiety, some are more detectale than others. They often get confused for other things which is why it sometimes goes unnoticed. But I usually feel uneasy, sweaty palms, fast pulse. I always avoid eye contact and social interaction as much as possible. But if I need to do it I will and many other symptoms that vary from each situation.

READ MORE: What Phobias Do You Suffer From?

To help spread a little more awareness I wrote a small status on Facebook basically highlighting the situation. And that Mental Illness needs to have awareness raised. Quite a few people commented who I had no idea suffer from Anxiety too. So it’s interesting how many people don’t raise awareness of this and other mental illnesses more.

It is becoming an increasingly high factor in children’s lives nowadays with peer pressure. And pressure to achieve in school with high stress caused by exams. More children in the UK are being treated for Anxiety and other mental illnesse. Such as Depression and even suicidal thoughts which is a horrible thing to hear.

Check out these helpful websites for more information and support: SANE, CHILDLINE & Mental Health Foundation. If you have any questions or tips, feel free to leave them in the comments below. Or for a more private chat email me at shanyloublog@outlook.com

What are your thoughts on this? Do you know what it’s like living with anxiety?