Here we go, back with another Dear Diary entry after another f*ckboy encounter. I wanted to vent and write down my feelings about this particular story. I am seriously thinking about starting a book with all of these.
So, last November I received a random message from someone I know through my football teams circle and it was a really out of the blue message as we had never interacted before until now. It was great having someone so keen to want to talk to me and get to know me. Especially with all of the troubles I have had with dating in recent years. It felt good to know someone was interested in me (or so I thought). We talked for a few days before he had to go on a work trip. He said some really cute things like he wanted to come to my hometown and meet me and I said there is nothing special there and he replied “There’s you, That’s enough for me”. We stayed up until way past 1am talking and it felt good.
Then, a few days later the message came that he was busy and then had to deal with a family emergency. I thought it would be best to give him space and let him get through what he needed, but a month or so turned into 4 months and still nothing. It really hurt me not knowing what was going on or whether those initial messages of how much he wanted to meet me and get to know me, actually meant nothing to him. I got talking to someone about this situation to try and place my emotions and feelings to help me get through it. I know I shouldn’t get too hung up on as we hadn’t met yet, but I really thought something was there and he even said he felt like there was chemistry.
I decided to swallow my pride and confront him, despite giving him time to get through what he needed to and it turns out he’s rekindled with an ex and just a ‘Should have told you sooner and I apologise’ was the message that I got. That deep self-knowing that something else was going on always arises to the top, even without the anxiety creeping in. I should have known better.
Image credit to Melike B on Pexels.
