Letter To Myself: I Think I Need To Grow Up Now

I‘m turning 21 in June and I really feel like I need to grow up and stop letting my anxiety get in the way. I wanted to write this post as a little letter to myself to stop being such a baby and actually grow up and do some things I need and want to do in life. I’ve put a few things on hold due to my anxiety and wanting to wait for the right time but in theory there is no better time than now, I guess! Do you ever have that moment when you just reflect on things that have been happening in your life and feel like you need to change things? I need to stop blaming my anxiety for getting in the way of things and stop making excuses for myself.

LEARN TO DRIVE
Most people are shocked when they hear I’m in my 20s and still haven’t started to drive or have passed my test yet. Most of the people went straight into driving as soon as they turned 18 but I didn’t and have wanted to wait until I felt like I was ready. I still don’t feel ready yet but hopefully within the next 5 or so years I will and will finally learn to drive. 

LOSE MY V WITH SOMEONE I LOVE
I know most people will be shocked to learn that I haven’t lost my V yet. I’ve only ever had one remotely serious relationship and that was almost 5 years ago. I was in my mid-teens and the guy I was with was quite childish and in the end it just didn’t work out and I’ve been single ever since – and still looking. I feel like I want to wait and lose it with someone who really does love me and we’ve been in a stable relationship for a while. I haven’t been the type of person to sleep with people I hardly know or with someone I’ve only known for a little while, I want it to mean something as you only lose it once – call me old fashioned! 

CHANGE JOBS
I’ve been in my current job for about 3 years and it’s definitely not something I want to do forever and its just for me to earn money and learn different things for now until I sort out my Photography career. Since starting this job I haven’t really had much of an opportunity to go out and take lots of pictures unless it’s from holidays etc so hopefully that will change during the next coming months. I’m really hoping I can change my job soon and hopefully ease myself into the Photography industry but I have no idea where to start as most photography firms won’t take anyone on unless they have experience working with other photographers.

STOP USING MY ANXIETY AS AN EXCUSE
Living with a mental illness sucks and really does get in the way of your everyday life but I really need to stop using it as an excuse and making it stop me from doing things I want to do. I really need to overcome my anxious feelings and learn to embrace things as they happen. 

PIN FOR THE FUTURE

 

What do you need to improve on? Anything you wish you had done sooner? 
image by haute chocolate 

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  • Chelsea Hodges

    Hey you go girl. Everyone goes at their own pace – but it’s great that you acknowledge the aspects of your life that you wish to change and work on. (little tip; don’t ever feel that because you are in your 20’s you have to lose your V card) Throughout highschool, all my friends were off having sex and I had no boyfriends, nothing at all, nada. After high school, I happened to run into the most amazing man ever from an online dating app, I know isn’t that weird? But now we’ve been together for a bit over a year – and I’m madly in love, my FIRST relationship and I’m head over heels, he and I have a real promising relationship. My point here isn’t to gush and brag about my boyfriend lol, it’s to show that I once felt like finding love wasn’t possible, throughout High School i wondered “what’s wrong with me”? Why do all my friends go off having sex and have boyfriends and I DON”T? Wait, I promise, it will be WORTH it. The perfect person WILL come. xxxxx

    • Shannon

      Awh thank you my lovely. I really hope I find someone nice soon, I am so fed up of being hurt and told I’m not good enough. Yeah I’m definitely still waiting for the right guy. I wish that would happen to me, I wish you all the happiness! 🙂 xx

  • Claire

    I struggle with anxiety too and found it really hard to push myself to do the things I enjoyed. I hope you manage to achieve everything you hope and more and kick anxiety’s butt! You’re amazing xo

    • Shannon

      It’s horrible isn’t it. Awh thank you, I hope I can kick it’s butt too! xx

  • Bethany Evans

    I think you’re doing the right thing and waiting. Losing your V is a big thing and you want to lose it with someone you feel very comfortable with. Too many people rush into it. I was 20 when I lost mine and I don’t regret waiting 1 bit. I’ve been with the same person for nearly 4 years now, i love him with all i have and I’m glad I waited for him xx

    • Shannon

      Thank you. I know so many girls I went to school with have got at least 3 kids and they’re in their 20s ,I just don’t get the rush. I’m glad you’ve got a good relationship, wishing you the ut-most happiness 🙂 xx

  • Shannon

    Thank you hun, it’s a stock image from haute chocolate 🙂 Yeah I have never been one to do it with anyone and want to wait for the right person and time. I can’t wait to get out of the financial industry and do something I really love doing, it’s just getting there that’s the problem. xx

  • Stacey

    beautifully written and honestly, high five on not losing your v card and waiting for the right one because there’s nothing wrong with that at all. I received my drivers license at age 23(now I’m 25). so take your time because everyone tried to pressure me into driving at age 18 but, I wasn’t mentally ready to drive. So, at age 23 I was ready and pass it. No one knows when you’ll be ready except yourself. So, it’s okay to take your time and when you’re ready, you’ll pass it on your first try. Lol and about growing up, early 20’s are all about learning as you grow and explore – when you reach age 25 – you will still continue to learn about greatness of life as you grow but, you’ll become more wiser than before.

    Much love,
    Stacey

    • Shannon

      Thank you for your comment Stacey! I completely agree with what you’ve said. 🙂