This is my final post in my #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth series but I will obviously be posting other mental health posts through my blog to keep helping to raise awareness. This one is going to be a little throwback to when I was being bullied in school and how it’s triggered my anxiety.
School life was horrible for me, I never wanted to go to school because almost everyday there was something horrible going on which made me feel like I didn’t belong there or made me feel like I didn’t want to go in. I was forever being bullied for being ‘the nerdy one’ for wanting to focus on my school work and get the best grades I could or ‘the emo one’ because I liked rock music and back then it was considered emo and I was told to go slit my wrists in the corner. I was bullied because of the way I looked – heck I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the school or the most popular but there is no need to bully someone for the way they look or the things they like. Yes I have slightly more prominent ears that stick out more than usual – and yes I was aware of this! I hated it too but it’s my body and I’ve learnt to live with it which is why I never tied my hair up. I’ve had vicious rumours spread around the school about me that were completely untrue and assaulted by a bottle in the corridors of school but hey I’ve learnt to move on and carry on with life.
Since leaving school,I’ve noticed a huge change in my life with being diagnosed with social anxiety – it’s not a shock considering what I’ve been through. I now find it hard to trust people, I don’t believe in myself, I hate my body, I doubt myself all the time and I have trouble talking to people in social situations. Hell it ruins my everyday life but I’m not letting it become part of me or boss me around like the bullies did. I’m learning to control it and be on top of it when it strikes. Yes I have my down days when it becomes really overwhelming but I’m learning to fight it. This will now be a part of me forever all thanks to people who thought it was good to bully someone for being different, different looking, different tastes, different opinions etc!
I wanted to help raise awareness of bullying and make sure that everyone is anti-bullying because no one should be bullied for being who they are and for what they love and believe in. Don’t let the bullies destroy you. I wish I had stood up more to the bullies when I was in school.
Have you ever been bullied? How has it changed your life?